Camo for House Hunting

One should wear horizontal stripes while house hunting so as to look like a sided outbuilding.

House hunting is not for the faint of heart and that's the truth. We have been to several showings and open houses and have gathered some tips for house hunters.

• DO take care of your feet. Keep your shoes on unless directed otherwise. Wear closed toe shoes where there may be septic issues, flocks of geese, or dogs.
  
• DO approach the home slowly. Employ the element of surprise.
• DON'T panic if the big one is getting away. Another trophy is out there.
  
• DO know the locals. Have the name of an agent you are "working with". This will spare you the hard sell. DON'T put down your Grandma's number. They may actually call the agent you've listed.
  
• DO travel in pairs if you bring a child with you. One adult can stay with the child who has invariably fallen asleep while the other looks inside. DON'T WAKE A SLEEPING CHILD UP TO LOOK AT A HOUSE!
• DO identify the home's food source. Grocery: if you would drive across town to go to a better store, this isn't the neighborhood for you.
  
• DON'T poke the bears by laughing at the creepy art on the walls. Likewise, don't "ew" at the carpet in the bathroom (sorry to any carpeted-bathroom readers). Laughing and "ew"ing are considered rude. (Who knew?)
• DO study the lay of the land. Visually inspect the driveways for junked cars and the neighborhood daycare for barbed wire fences.
  

With that basic set of rules, prospective buyers will avoid frustration and embarrassing faux pas. Have fun out there!