It's tough bein' old

The scene: Deuce is napping. I am on the couch watching a documentary, drinking diet coke. Windows open, letting in fresh air.

A sound. Kind of a cry. I pause the TV. Not Deuce. Unpause. I hear the cry again, and pause TV with a sigh. Dog hears sound and starts to bark. I charge outdoors to reprimand this person. Instead of some stupid troublemaker, I find the 84 year old neighbor on the ground in the backyard!

The neighbor has clearly fallen on her head/face, evidenced by the grass-stained white hair and slight skinned nose/cheek. Should I call 911? "NO!"

The neighbor says "blah blah, in Italian, blah, I don't speak English, blah, something that I managed to recognize as the word for 'face', Italian words, more Italian words, why didn't I learn the language from Grandma..."

Well, she seems fine, upsadaisy. But I can't lift this woman. (Remind me to lose weight before I get to 84 years old.) Then she's gesturing, and I realize she wants me to go get her nephew who lives 3 doors down. This nephew is in his 70s, but he's more help than the dog, so off I go.

We right her and she said thank you along with many other things to me and the nephew, and the nephew's wife who came down... luckily she's okay.

What was she doing outside? Trying to hang clothes on the line. Her nephew commented "84! use the dryer!" I get that, but man, it's tough bein' old.