Haaaay

hey there, whatcha doin'?  I haven't been around in a while...  Been workin'.  Sweatin' the small stuff, you know.  Gonna start bloggin' again b/c I have all kinds of stuff running around in my head that needs to get sorted out and organized.  I need a place to just say stuff while I'm thinking it through, and you know this old blog is just me sayin' stuff.

Turns out that the things I do to make myself feel good, feel better, survive, get through the day, feel happy, save time, save money, give more to others...  it's making me sick.  I feel worse, I'm barely getting through the days, I'm sometimes extremely unhappy, broke, busy, taking away from my experience w/ others.  Not to go all super-drama, but I'm killing myself slowly.  You know all the space on the BMI scale past "obese"?  Past morbid?  Apparently there's a think called super-morbidly obese.  And I'm there, man.  I'm there.

If you were to ask me, about any other destructive, dangerous habit, I would say "no way, I don't do that!"  I'm not a smoker, an alcoholic, a daredevil, I don't party, I wear my seat belt.  And I eat.  And now I'm ugly and sick and I hit rock bottom.  And I love myself and my family too much for that, and I'm comin' back.