I could do that

Every time I don't get a job I interviewed for (and every time I have PMS according to DeuceDad) I start an introspective on my skills, my goals, my job search, and the hopelessness of it all. It usually comes back around to the fact that I have a very specific degree and skill set and unless I pursue formal training in something else there is nothing I can do for much over minimum wage. As long as Deuce needs day care, we will actually lose money if I go to work for minimum wage. And I'm not talking about losing money relative to unemployment. I talking, it will cost us money out of the bank to pay for daycare, pay our taxes, and work for $7.ish. How sick is that?

It hasn't stopped me entirely. I just applied for what could be a cool tech support job with a big chain of auto mechanics. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'm playing the "I could do that" game. See a job, read a news story or drive down the road while unemployed and you start to see people working doing things you took for granted. Mowing the median on the highway. Folding shirts into perfect rectangles. Cleaning houses, walking dogs, delivering beer to the grocery store, the list goes on and on.

When it comes down to it, I'm still just scouring the websites. I haven't lost hope that I'll find a software engineering job and life will go back to the way it was. Working days, having time as a family, having pocket money. There is a time limit on that hope, and you might just see me stocking shelves on second shift. I could do that.