Pick something

I'm considering "life change" ideas, instead of "diet" ideas.  I think of what I want my life to be like, and I see three areas that need to change

• eating habits
• exercise habits
• thoughts

No one or the other is really numero uno.  I have shown time and time again that I can exercise and then ingest enough calories to have just wasted my time.  I can cut back on food and then talk myself into eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's.  I can tell myself I'm worth it and then treat myself like shit.

I definitely can't do it all.  The whole working mom gig plus how committed I am to my current lifestyle means that turning my life on a dime isn't likely to work out. 

I just said work out.  Freudian slip?

It's as good a place to start as any.

In the spirit of Pick Two, I need to combine exercise in with something I do anyway.  I see possibilities at work.  I walk to and from the parking garage each day, but typically take the elevator (up and down) on both ends.  I could commit to using the stairs in the garage and the office (although the days I park on the 6th floor, I might have to do half-and-half for a while).  I rarely take breaks, but if I do they are focused on food procurement.  Lunch is another opportunity to climb 3 flights of stairs (in an office building, so it's kind of like 6).  I could come up with a little 10 minute route, inside or outside, just to do something in the middle of the day. 

I found this fantastic Amanda Russell 4-minute wakeup routine on Pinterest.  I did it once, and haven't done it again.  It was hard, but it was 4 minutes, so come on.  It would give me some core strength.  Which just leaves a real exercise session to fit in somewhere.  And that's a whole topic by itself.

Haaaay

hey there, whatcha doin'?  I haven't been around in a while...  Been workin'.  Sweatin' the small stuff, you know.  Gonna start bloggin' again b/c I have all kinds of stuff running around in my head that needs to get sorted out and organized.  I need a place to just say stuff while I'm thinking it through, and you know this old blog is just me sayin' stuff.

Turns out that the things I do to make myself feel good, feel better, survive, get through the day, feel happy, save time, save money, give more to others...  it's making me sick.  I feel worse, I'm barely getting through the days, I'm sometimes extremely unhappy, broke, busy, taking away from my experience w/ others.  Not to go all super-drama, but I'm killing myself slowly.  You know all the space on the BMI scale past "obese"?  Past morbid?  Apparently there's a think called super-morbidly obese.  And I'm there, man.  I'm there.

If you were to ask me, about any other destructive, dangerous habit, I would say "no way, I don't do that!"  I'm not a smoker, an alcoholic, a daredevil, I don't party, I wear my seat belt.  And I eat.  And now I'm ugly and sick and I hit rock bottom.  And I love myself and my family too much for that, and I'm comin' back.