R is for Retrospective

This is off my theme of being fiber-related, but on my theme for catching up!

One year ago today, I lost my job, for the second time in a year. I lost a big part of my identity that day, as a working mom, a software engineer, a career woman. Day after day, Deuce reminded me that the biggest, happiest, most rewarding part of my life is motherhood.

Today, we did the same things we were doing this time last year - children's museum, playground, playing in the leaves. We hugged and high-fived. I marveled at his intelligence, cuteness, constant motion... that he was part of me, that I am part of him, that he loves me despite my failure to hold down a job, despite the anxiety, despite the disappointment.

DeuceDad was there too, supporting me and teasing me through the best and worst moments of the last year, always reminding me that we have a happy marriage and a beautiful son.

I feel such a sense of relief knowing that many of our troubles will be behind us in a few weeks. Soon I'll be busy 9-5 and bringing home the bacon again, questioning my decision to work outside the home, ordering pizza and getting up early again. I need to remember the gifts - the last year I've had to share Deuce's every moment, the fact that I have him and his loving father, this job that could be everything I've been looking for. These are all gifts in my life. I can't be a SAHM and a WOHM at the same time, but I've had the opportunity to do both, and I've enjoyed it.

In retrospect, this year has been the best I've ever had. I was able to do something I never thought I could do, and I'm stronger and better for it. But I'm ready for my next move, knowing I'll have amazing people by my side.

Napping

You can shut a toddler is his room, but you can't make him nap.

I heard footsteps upstairs a few minutes after I put Deuce down for his nap, and this is what I opened the door to.
This is no surprise. A couple of times a week, Deuce refused to nap despite all my best efforts. And I think it's okay for 2's and 3's to just rest in the afternoon for a while even if they don't sleep. But as you can see by the state of his room, no resting was going on.

I have a haircut tonight, so DeuceDad's going to have fu-un with him tonight.

We return, broken, dirty and damp

We spent the last 5 days visiting with old friends upstate where we used to live, visiting with my in-laws, and enjoying a festival that DeuceDad has participated his entire life.

Let's rehash the good before delving in to the aftermath. Deuce was so well behaved, I'm very proud of him. Our first stop was at the home of friends with a 7 week old baby. Deuce wasn't jealous at all when I held her and managed to leave their dog and 2 cats alone enough at least to not make anyone hiss or growl. Way to respect other peoples' homes! We had dinner, wine the husband makes, and rootbeer floats, and compare some of those early parenthood moments. (i.e. "Is he/she ever going to stop crying" and "I have the feeling back in my nether regions"). They love to watch Deuce run around and imagine themselves 2 years into the future!

Then the drive to the ILs, and the moment I walked in the door another BFF called and told me her baby she's pregnant with has Downs syndrome and 2 other health problems that have been identified. I spend the next 2 hours crying on the phone with her, then an hour crying while DeuceDad and I discussed (again) what we though we might feel in that situation. It's tough to know what to do as a friend (call, don't call...) but I'm going to keep calling her until she tells me to quit. Let me tell you I held Deuce tight as I could and thanked God for the gift of him.

After a crappy night's sleep, we headed to "the city" for an ill advised shopping trip. I needed one thing, but couldn't find it at the local WalMart. So I though I had to drive almost an hour to "the city." Turns out, I could have gotten this item at the Farmer's Coop. I though that was where you bought chicken feed or something, but I guess it's a real store. Live and learn.

Next day it was off for a friend's house. We wanted to go to the beach, but it was raining. She suggested we take the kids to a McDonald's PlayPlace. I had never been to one, but I was really concerned for her sanity when she said that. I respect this woman, but... really? It actually was nice. It was newly built, and was mostly a huge padded climber with a slide. The boys had a great time and we got to relax and chat. I knew she was a smart cookie!

Another day, another drive, this time to the Thousand Islands area. We sat around at our friends' boating club and watched their 3 year old and Deuce play in the sand and the water. Deuce has really picked up on how to play with other children, and I love watching it. We talked, gossiped and laughed, and had a great morning. I got to watch their 2 girls for a few minutes while they left for a wedding and their babysitter was on her way over. I never plan to have a 3YO, 2YO and 7MO at the same time - they were well behaved, but I needed to be in 2 places at once for sure.

Today we watched DeuceDad and Grandpa do their lumberjack show (sooo fun - I'll take some video next time I'm at one), ate some fair food, and jumped in the car.

After all that, I, my dog, and my possessions are the worse for wear. Deuce and DeuceDad are tired, but not visibly damaged in any way. Everything is covered in sand, horse stall funk and dampness from the humidity, and I am tired, bug bitten, pinched and sick to death of being in the car. I drove our family car a minimum of 3 hours every day, much of it on the same stretch of country road, avoiding construction and the Amish and trying to make up time.

In the mean time, 3 of the measly 4 bras I own gave up the ghost and now have wires sticking out of them, stabbing or poking me in the side. What's up with that? They get a lot of use because they each get worn twice a week (more of less, don't nitpick the math), but why did they all have to go at the same time? The one I was wearing today literally snapped in half on one side and pinched me all the way home. I probably could have pulled over on the interstate and removed it, but one more instant in the car and I would have keeled over.

I'm in recovery mode. The car is sort of unpacked, except for the floor in the backseat, which has apple juice spilled all over it and I need to psych myself up for tackling that mess. The dog bed and dog himself are washed and drying. MIL does most of the wash, so that's no sweat, but the 2 giant duffles are going to take a few minutes. And I should consider what I'm feeding my son tonight. The time is fast approaching and I'm NOT going to the grocery store. Hopefully we have cereal.

Oh, and I have no pictures because I forgot the camera. I took a couple with MIL's camera, but didn't upload anything.

So my souveniers consist of my own crap, but dirtier. And memories made with good friends.

Love is...

... picking a flower from the yard and offering it to your mommy.

big boy bed

The first night in the toddler bed, or "big boy bed" as we've been calling it, was a huge success! Deuce is still sleeping now! I wasn't actually home to put him down for the night in it, but I'm so proud of him, and very saddened that he's growing up so quickly.

I squirreled away the checks he got for his birthday, and I'm going to Target today to get the Cars "Cruisin' in Style" bed set. I really pushed for the much cuter transportation themed one, but it's his bed and I let him pick. Very opinionated.

I'm surprised how easy the transition was because we didn't actually do anything to prepare him. We talked about it, and then we took off the crib side and put on the side rail and just let him get in and out... if only potty training could be that easy.

Amusement Park Prep

Today is DeuceDad's company picnic at Seabreeze! Seabreeze is a small local amusement park, and it's lots of fun. It's definitely wimpy compared to Six Flags or Busch Gardens, but it's close and inexpensive and fun.

I have a few things I'm not sure about, so tomorrow I'll hopefully have some 'how to survive an amusement park with a 2 year old in diapers' tips. My main concerns are my camera (would LOVE to bring the big boy but afraid it will get wet or stolen), and the water slides (are swim diapers allowed? are we going to get E coli?). We brought Deuce last year, but didn't do the water park, and someone stood with the stroller the whole time.

I did get some tips from a local moms website, RocMoms.com. I'm sure every area has something similar, and it's a great resource for local info from a parent's perspective. I found RocMoms from the newspaper's website, so look around.

I'm off to pack a bag - wish us luck!

I don't even know where to start.

I haven't blogged in a while - I've been home, away, busy, sleepy, up, down and around pretty much non-stop. (And I used to work, too?)

Some of the highlights since June 23...

Camping!

We went to Green Lakes and camped with friends. We have camped with this group a few times, and have always enjoyed ourselves. We were really looking forward to it, until a huge thunderstorm rolled overhead as we were packing the car. We actually got the car totally unpacked and called everyone to confer... only for the sky to clear and the weather to be gorgeous. We repacked the car (minus a few essentials forgotten in the fray) and off we went.

It's a really nice park - actually a national forest, I think - with a beautiful beach for swimming and lots of trails. Our sites were in a great location, and the weather held out. A great trip!

July 4th!

We celebrated the all-American way. We over ate and watched baseball.

"Dipfest" started as a discussion over what the best kind of taco dip is.

It turned into an allout gorge-fest that the hostess is not entirely recovered from. Digestively speaking. There was no clear winner, but the contestants for taco dip were "Alyson's taco dip" (cream cheese/sour cream/taco seasoning, diced tomatoes, lettuce, cheese), chili cheese dip (cream cheese, chili, cheese), and 7 layer taco dip (cream cheese/sour cream/taco seasoning, refried beans, guacamole, salsa, olives, jalapeno slices, cheese). Also in the photo are chicken wing dip and artichoke dip. I feel sick just thinking about it.

We went to see the Red Wings. We took Deuce last year, but he was mostly interested in popcorn and playing in the grass. This year he was able to follow along a little (here, in the red tshirt, bemoaning a blown call) He was great at the game, and we're looking forward to bringing him again.

Hangin' with my Dad!

My dad had some time off mid-week, so we went to the Strong National Museum of Play together. The working folk don't get to do stay-at-home stuff like story hour, so this was a treat for Dad.

Knitting!

This is the completed "first sock evah!" and the second one has another 2-ish inches of calf and some ribbing left to go.

Amazingly, sock knitting has been my procrastination knitting, used to keep myself from a cable scarf (I think I got the cable thing figured, just trying to finish the yarn), and a sweater (whoa) that is very intimidating.

Not too shabby - hoping to have some fiber stuff to share soon.

I finally cried

I held back my tears so well about Robbie growing up until just now. He's in his crib, refusing to nap, saying "woof woof woof" and "oh, man!" I am his mom and I am so happy.

Deuce is Two

Deuce turned 2 today! We had a busy morning and he's now napping. Time for me to frantically do chores, bake a cake, prepare dinner and wrap his gifts! I don't think he really understands what it means that people keep saying Happy Birthday to him, but it's fun anyway.

I'm doing a good job keeping my emotions in check today. I have had some moments when I wonder how it's possible that he is so tall/smart/independent when 2 years ago today he was brand new and needed his mom and dad for everything. But I've spend the better part of the last year with him so I don't feel like I missed out.

I did a lot of scrapbooking - although I can't say I'm finished with his second year. I have the book divided into sections (events, family, everyday) with coordinating section pages:



I am pretty proud of some of my pages:



The first page has a little dedication.



It reads

Dear Robbie,

As I write this, you are about to turn two. I'm teaching you to say "two" and hold up your two fingers so that you can tell people how old you are. I don't know why this is so fascinating to me, but it is. Probably for the same reason everything you do is amazing to me - you're a fun guy! You're growing up fast and your dad and I get to be there as you become a toddler, and some day a man.

This book is really for me to save my favorite photos and have a place ot write down the stories of your childhood and our adventures as a family. I know I will always want to remember how it felt to help you learn and grow, how you make me smile, even our small frustrations and challenges because they make the happy moments sweeter.

I hope someday you enjoy looking at this book as much as I've enjoyed making it. But if you don't take after me and you're not a sentimental guy, then just know how much happiness you've brought to our family, and in these pages are some of the ways you did that.

My love forever,
Mom

Our Backyard

is decked out in Backyardigans! Today is Deuce's 2nd birthday party, and we're ready for action. Guests are coming at 5pm and we're going to grill hots and burgers, play a game, have cake and open gifts. The mechanics of the party are all set, but I'm not ready. I mean, I changed out of my sweatpant capris (hot) into jeans (socially acceptable). But mentally I'm not ready. He's out there in a man's outfit kicking a ball around with his dad. Who is this 2 year old and where did he come from.

I'll share my sentiments to him on his actual birthday (Monday). I don't want to get emotional before people come. I will share my recipe for the pasta salad I make for him that he loves.

Pesto Pasta Salad

1 12oz box tri-color rotini
provolone (ask the deli to slice a 1/2 thick piece), diced
hard salami (again with the thick piece), diced
1 small can sliced black olives
1 small can cece beans (aka chick peas, garbanzo beans)
1 packet Good Seasons Italian dressing mix, prepared with balsamic vinegar
1T basil pesto

Cook the pasta, drain and cool under cold water. Combine the dressing with the pesto. Toss it all together - garlicky and delicious! Add cucumbers, diced bell pepper, cherry tomatoes - anything you want to use up.

The curse of an enthusiastic starter

is that you never really finish the projects you start. Just in this room, I have shredding and filing, Deuce's 2nd year scrapbook, parts from the anniversary scrapbook, a not-yet-started California vacation book, tags and seed packets for a garden notebook, 2 boxes left from the office overhaul, a gift to return, and 2 half-drank Diet Cokes. I'm not joking. I never finish anything.

It's almost the end of the month, and time to put the full court press on finishing the unfinished. I did this in February and accomplished record amounts (for me) of crocheting and weaving in of yarn ends. I'm cooped up in the office anyway uploading photos - still can't figure out how to stop my internet connection from timing out. Way to go computer professional. Blah.

I don't have a good pic to go with this post, so I'll just share something cute. This is Deuce wearing my dad's hard hat.


He's a hard workin' dude.

Boy: (noun) a noise with dirt on it

That is all for now.

Ready for spring

Deuce is ready to see some green.

It feels good when you sing a song

A strange thing happened to my feed burner. I added Club Trillion to it. I'm sure my (few) readers are not raving college basketball fans and are not tremendously interested in a college kid expounding on the trials of being a poor player on a great team. But this shit is good. And I just had to say something about it because I got all excited when I saw there was an update. AND he calls out Stuff White People Like, which is off color, but hysterically funny to me. In fact, it was on my blogroll, but I decided it was a little off the topic of parenting, and so it was removed.

Meantime, Deuce and I got out for a much-needed play date today that ended in me dragging his crying ass out the front door of my friend's house. Her 2 year old didn't nap yesterday and Deuce is teething. Apparently in toddler math this ends in fighting over DJ from Cars and crying. I need to get this kid back in day care. Before I know it he'll be 39 and going on movie dates with his mommy (I have an uncle who, until recently acquiring a girlfriend, did just that. It runs in the family).

So there's DeuceMotherhood today. Reading sports blogs and failed play dates. G-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s.

Bonus: Want dance around the living room with your son looking at you like a loon? Play this one for him.

Slothtastic

My period has turned me into world's brattiest mom this month. All I want to do is eat chocolate and pizza and drink Diet Coke and play with Play Doh. Luckily we're fresh out of chocolate, I'm attempting to cook meals this week, and Deuce loves to play Play Doh.

He also likes to break it up into tiny, sock sticking pieces which I have to get on all fours to clean up and that feels like an injustice to me at the moment. But other than that it's an activity we both enjoy.

I'm on my second kind of pills since June and I'm still a crap-eating sloth for a week once a month. I mean, it's better than the pills that sent me into a homicidal rage (I think the trade name is Divorceterol). But Jesus H. Christ, tell me that every woman in the world spends a week out of every month forcing herself to do the most simple tasks and I will eat my hat. I don't know where my hats are. I will find a hat though, and I will eat it.

I made a deal with myself that if I can do the one load of laundry DeuceDad asked me to do (how dare he politely ask for clean work clothes so he can continue supporting our family?!), I will earn the reward of brainstorming ABC-Along 2009 topics in front of tivoed Law & Order. This is what it takes to accomplish something around here.

I'm saving my energy for when my little sculpter wakes up.

W is for Winter

Winter has challeged me for finding things to do with Deuce. It's too cold and wet for babies at the playground and story hours at our local libraries are over until after New Year's. We go to the children's museum - that's about all I've got.

Oh, and this box.

Happy 18 month birthday!

18 months ago, I became Mom. I'm so thankful.

V is for Villain

This was picked up Tuesday. Not clean (the door didn't get that dusty in 3 days), but picked up. Not remodeled (nice carpet and panelling, huh?), but picked up. And now? Junk. On the floor. Again.

Toddlers. Humph.

U is for Underwear

When you are one, your undershirt is a perfectly acceptable outfit. You can even dress it up with a hat if desired.

And then it was Monday

Despite some serious fussing this weekend, we did have a nice time. I did some major tackling which I'll share tomorrow and spent time with my mom and my best friend. Deuce and I enjoyed the sunshine. It was really nice.

So how did last week's master plan work out? Not too bad.

• cooking all meals (except 1 planned dinner out) - check!
• finding activities to take Deuce to - check!
• apply to > 10 jobs (I hope) - applied to 5
• finding a mom's group - nope
• one huge tackle and one minor tackle - check! I'll share tomorrow
• getting into a schedule - eh...

There's room for improvement. So here's this week's plan:

• cook all meals (ate pizza last night)
• 2 activities with Deuce (story hour + play date)
• review 1/2 of the companies on this awesome list I found and sent resumes to the promising ones
• one big tackle, one small tackle
• add "get all dishes done" and "do house cleaning" to that schedule

Here goes!