This might just... not work

Medifast is a misery.

This is day 8, and I have officially lost 1 lb.  Net 1 lb, b/c I had lost 2 and now I am up 1.  My ankles are swollen and my digestive system isn't right (trying to respect delicate sensibilities).

I know it works if you just do it, and I know that the whole point is to just get to the goal weight and then go on with a healthy life, and I know that I need to learn moderation and the hunger isn't going to kill me. 

I know.

I know that my husband saw this coming a mile away.

I was really excited day 1 when I didn't faint or die or whatever I was worried about.

I was really excited day 6 when my doctor told me that because of my high BMI I could add one or two more 100 calorie meals of actual food.

And then last night I was miserable, cancelled social plans on some of my favorite people, ate a "lean & green" dinner and then housed a hot dog, and was...  ill (if you get my drift, gentle reader).

So you know what I did today? 
I ate an egg for breakfast.  With salsa on it.  And I enjoyed it
Midmorning I ate a Medifast bar and drank a bunch of water
Lunchtime - salad and sushi. 
And technically I could be eating now, but I'm not hungry.  For the first time since last Thursday
I have a shake packet in my lunch bag that I will have at 3:30 so I don't do anything rash at dinner
Fish and veggies planned for dinner
And no processed mess for dessert today (last night's brownie with rubbery soy protein bits was disheartening)

Oh, and I'm going to exercise.  Why would I want to cut back on exercise?!  The program is so low calorie that it advises "avoid" exercise, or at least cut current activity by 50%.  That is contrary to one of my main motivations, being able to stay active with my son.  The book that goes with the program is about living into your 80s, 90s, 100s, at "optimal health."  Fine.  I'm not missing walking the dog with my son or doing the Thanksgiving morning running race so I can try to live to 100.  I'm going to keep walking and (get back to) running, which will give me better health immediately and in old age.

I know that the program was developed by doctors and endorsed by my own doctor, who I trust very much.  Lots of people have succeeded in losing weight using this method.  Including the doctor who developed it, who lost... wait for it... 27 lbs.  Seriously dude?  I can't eat the same number of calories as a person who is barely in the "overweight" category and feel at all okay.

I'm just as motivated to lose weight and be healthy as I was a week ago.  I lost a pound.  I could easily have gained a pound this week.  I think the high protein, low carb mini meals are a good tool, and I'd like to use those still.  I learned something about dealing with hunger (more on that later).  I got really good support from my husband and brother.

I'm not stopping.  I am adjusting.  That's how I do.